Summer Holiday Musings

Is it wrong to want it all?

To carry on using metaphor if only the candle didn’t have both ends…

I’m in the middle of trying to juggle a lot; find a new job (I haven't had an interview since my early 20's), clear out the house ready to sell (I’m such a massive hoarder) and get the kids ready for the next school year - my youngest is just about to start secondary school.  All while trying to work, look after the kids, keep on top of house work oh and have a life!

I am lucky enough that I can work at home over the summer holidays and now that the kids are older (11 and 13) and relatively independent, there are no more holiday clubs / they don’t want to go anymore.  The reality means that I’m left feeling like I’m doing everything badly.  Why does the mom guilt hit so hard?

With everything going on I'm also learning a new relationship with running, it was with much guilt that I decided that I couldn’t do the event I had booked in for September (The Lap).  I don’t know why this makes me feel like a failure. If I can listen to the logical side of my brain it means that next year - as I can’t transfer the place to another person or get a refund - the gods of ultra want me to still be able to do it and I can give it the time it needs, hopefully.  I think I feel like this because I want to be able to do it all - because I want to show the kids I can - other people can so why can’t I?

I hope everyone’s summer holidays went ok!

We had a lovely time camping; lots of swimming in the lake, paddleboarding and walking and now I’m back I’m struggling to be as active as when I was away.  Too many distractions; the clothes washing for one! The bane of all holidays.  I have the Eryri Marathon next on the event calendar and still have left training a little late so I will focus on elevation not distance, although I will target time on feet, a lot of strength training and cross training.  I have just started my excel spreadsheet!  I also haven’t booked any accommodation; do I treat myself to a cute air bnb or cheaper camping route…?

I’ll keep you posted on training and you can follow my progress (or lack of) on instagram or facebook!

Love, Helen